Dancing with the Stars: Bristol Palin sent back to Alaska

The republican was sent home last night. No, not just on the presidential debate, but onDancing with the Stars, too, which saw Bristol Palin eliminated, the fourth all-star to go home.

This defied all advance polls. After all, Palin’s so-so dance skills took her all the way to the finals last time. It seems as if her mom’s Tea Party following just didn’t have the clout this time to save Palin and partner, Mark Ballis.

This was good news for Kirstie Alley and Maks Chmerkovskiy, who actually had the lower judges’ scores Monday, although, as they noted, they finally got a “30.” It just took four judges (including guest judge Paula Abdul) to do it. Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina were third from the bottom, so Karina is off the hook for her hip-hop stumble.

The rest of the hour was spent with the usual Tuesday night nonsense.

Carson Kressley turned up as DWTS’ “free ranging alumnus,” which pretty much seemed like just an excuse to allow him to apply bronzer to Gilles Marini’s chest area. “I laughed, I cried, it was way better than Cats,” declared the fabulous former contestant.

Then came the plug for Macy’s Stars of Dance, with the Legion of Doomed Extraordinary Gentlemen doing back flips while somebody pounded the Titanium out of a piano.

There were replays of Paula imitating Bruno and Karina’s slip. Tom Bergeron’s best ad lib of the live show came next as he reacted to several cue cards being shoved in front of him at once. “I’ll read anything you put in front of me,” he joked, “it’s like Anchorman.”

Then came Tito Puentes Jr. to slap the bongos while Cheryl Burke danced. That’s not a euphemism. All that was missing was Ed Sullivan asking the audience to give Puentes a really big hand.

Donny Osmond, who has been around so long he actually sang with his brothers on Sullivan, squeezed into a tux and belted out a tune with Susan Boyle. There hasn’t been a pairing this awkward since McCain/Palin. Both must have Christmas albums coming out or something. Osmond looks more and more like Wayne Newton. Marie likely tuned into the pairing and fainted again.

In a really rushed segment, points leaders Gilles and Shawn Johnson were made team captains and forced to pick dance teams for next week’s Team Freestyle Dance. Emmitt Smith read his hilarious ad lib that he hadn’t been picked for anything since 1990 (for the Dallas Cowboys).

Gilles picked Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy first, forcing them to stop necking for 30 seconds. The only couple not picked was Bristol and Mark, so sending them home seemed like the only sensible thing left to do.

Next week there will be two one-hour shows. The remaining teams have to learn two dances, something Kirstie doubts she can do. The good news for her is it sounds like nobody will be eliminated, so skip next week, it will be — shockingly — just a giant waste of time.